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|Sunday, June 10th, 2007|
I think I should start being selfish.
What do you think?
|Thursday, June 7th, 2007|
|Yes? No. Maybe so. Hoe.
Ugh it just keeps getting worse. The pit in my stomach feels like it's growing. Maybe I'm hungry...
But I'm not.
I just can't help it. I can't figure out why I keep doing this awful thinking to myself. About myself. It's unhealthy, but it's what's going on. The sad thing is I don't think anyone wants to help, cares enough to help, or even cares enough to notice. I have a few friends, but most of them don't even care that I'm having trouble or care that I am sad or care that I feel like crying. Yes I said it.
I can't even play video games online. No, not because I'm writing this, but because I don't know how to unplug the damn router. The last time I unplugged it, the lights stayed on and the damn thing wouldn't shut off and give me a chance to play some Halo online. I don't even have an emulator to play on this. I should probably go home and put it on a cd or something for later, but I still feel sad that I can't play right now.
I don't want to disappear. I don't want to leave. But I think it's getting to the point where that is going to be the only resolution to my problems. The problems with other people, the problems with Syracuse, the problems with work, and most importantly the problems with myself. I am not happy with myself.
Why don't girls like me? Not even girls...why don't the girls I like...like me back? I mean, duh, it goes on all over the place, but it's heartbreaking...liking someone them leaving and there's nothing you can do. Oh other than the fact that you fucking screwed up before they left, but even then, she left. What? Ask her to stay? For what? Me? Ha. That would be probably the biggest mistake of her life. We don't want that. If anyone is going to screw up, it should be me. I don't blame people for not liking me, I'm a fucking loser. Who wants to hang out with me? I'm not a bad guy though, I'm not mean, but overall. I'm nothing. Nothing worth wanting at least. Nothing worth having.
I still want to play Halo. I also think that I'm going to start playing tons of video games and then write a video game story and send it in. And then play more and then write more and then send those in...and either go to school for English, get a job and keep writing and then go to school for some type of video game design. It makes me happy, it calms me down, but if I told most people, not all, most people that I wanted to do this, I'd get laughed at. I think my family would be the ones doing that. I have a couple friends who would be like "FUCK YEAH!!!" and may even play the video game I hope to write a story for.
Problem is, I don't know.
|Wednesday, May 30th, 2007|
|Now it's starting to beep
I'm relatively sick of myself as of late. I don't do anything. I'm a relatively shitty family member, although I must say my situation is a little strange. "Get up and do something about it!" Shut up. It's much easier to walk without two broken knees man. And again, it is true that I have brought many things upon myself, and especially as of late. Although a few things are bullshit I swear. My job for example. I hate it there. I feel, I don't know for certain, that I am looked down upon. I can't explain it though. I mean, at Wegman's part-timers are kinda pushed out of the way so to speak, but I mean I feel like I get treated Oppressively. My grammar sucks, eat my shorts.
Shower, I have to work at 8 in the morning. Enthralled. I'll be back.
Recap: I'm a bum. Check.
Where are my friends? Who are my friends? Where is the honesty?
I shouldn't really talk about that last one. I can't say i'm an evil liar plotter person, but I tend to say things to try to calm down situations, to try to fit in, to not be ridiculed, etc. I always feel like I'm being attacked. I always feel like I have to defend myself. Ugh I hate this feeling. That awful sickening feeling always hits me every morning. Is it gas? Perchance some indigestion? Or is it that feeling of knowing that tomorrow I'm going to wake up and feel the knowledge that I will wake up everyday knowing that I'm failing my life.
Fortunately, my only solution is to disappear.
No, keep your crazy thoughts to yourselves. I mean I need to get away from everything and everyone, shelter myself because I feel like I'll weed out my friends that way, or maybe people will forget me and I can just start anew. I feel as though there are more options that way. It's a sickening feeling to know you're screwing shit the fuck up, so why is bad that I don't want anything to do with where I am right now?
I'm at an awful time in my life. I've tried kinda hard lately to turn stuff around, make things a little better. I was trying to "get up". Fuck you. Instead I get the feeling, and unless it's paranoia, (possibly), people that surround me don't help very much.
I don't know, that's another problem. Lost. Stupid TV show stole my life's motto. Ass hole's.
|Thursday, February 1st, 2007|
|In not so many words
Jessica is fucking here again. She again pissed me off.
This time she told me, not in so many words, how much of a loser I was, and how sad of a person I was, and how good people other guys she knows are.
Because I "wouldn't" go down to Florida to help her if she was in trouble she thinks that I am not as good a person as someone who would go down to Florida to help her. Her way of thinking has the world revolve around her. She doesn't care how things would affect me if that situation would come up. She doesn't care that I would have a job and a family to answer to after I returned home from said hypothetical Florida trip. Me a bad person. Fuck.
Her talking to me inches me closer to becoming what everyone else wants. Everyone else wants me to be someone I'm not. Everyone else thinks I should do something I don't want to do. They use the word potential and all that horseshit and it pisses me off. Do they care if I am happy?
None of them do.
Jessica claims thats all she wants me to be is happy. That's what she says. "I just want you to be happy, but when I ask you how's life or when I read your blogs you aren't happy". Fucking duh. Because when I tell her what I want, and what would make me happy, she tells me how fucking stupid I am. Oh yeah, that makes me happy by the way, you telling me I'm a loser. Good. She doesn't put two and two together and think, "hmm..maybe he isn't happy because the people he cares about the most think he is a piece of shit!".
I mean seriously. I know I have a few certain people who care about me, and a few certain people who don't judge me.
There aren't many. In fact, maybe 3. Maybe.
I can't even name them.
I can name one. Marty. Doesn't judge me. He tells me he always wonders why I am not doing better than I am, but not once has he thought I was a bad person, or any less of a person, for not having a 50,000 dollar paying job right out of college. He doesn't fault me for playing video games or working at Wegmans. I'm pretty sure he wants me to be happy, and even though he knows I am not happy, he doesn't try to tell me how to be happy. Not by force anyway.
The last girl I was "seeing" broke up with me because she couldn't handle the fact I didn't have an extremely high sense of confidence.
Confidence isn't fucking perfect everyone. Confidence can turn things against you. I'm not saying having it, or having a lot of it, is a bad thing, but just because I don't have a lot of it doesn't mean I am a bad person. My heart is true. I try not to hurt, I try not to make other people feel bad, I try not to do and say things that would make my world, and the people in my world, upset. But I can see that it doesn't matter to some people. Some people have to tell me all the bad things that are wrong with me, whether it be Jessica, Leah, my mom, some of my friends, or even a self help book.
I say fuck you.
Fuck you for not liking the person I am. At what time in your life did I ever do anything that bad? One time I ripped Jessica's hat. I was upset. I ripped her hat. Did I rip her? Did I strike her? No. But to her that doesn't matter, and I think to her she would rather have me hit her than rip her fucking gay ass hat.
If you are going to complain about me, I'm going to ignore it. Unless I do something that upsets you, makes you sad, or anything of the like, I'm going to not listen to you anymore. You will mean nothing to me.
Tool - Schism - "cold silence has the tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion"
I can't wait for my compassion for you ass holes to atrophy into nothing. I can't wait for it to dry up like an old well, or like Arizona on a Tuesday.
Yeah, I have fucking problems. Who doesn't. Mine have to deal with me and how I don't know what I want yet, and how I am trying to find happiness.
You guys fault me for not finding it.
I hope you get happiness, I hope you find happiness, and then I hope when you think things can't get any better, happiness stabs you in the back. Then you will be alone lying on the ground, bleeding out all your so called happiness into the ground, wondering why it all went away.
|Tuesday, January 30th, 2007|
|If you like someone
Don't be an idiot. And don't lie to them.
If you like someone, go to their work and visit them, even if it is for a few minutes. If you like someone, don't avoid them because you know they are leaving for good. Make sure that the last days they are in your life that you try to be with them as much as possible. Granted some people may show their affection in different ways, for example Picasso with his sister and his ear. (A little weird, but if that's your cup of tea I guess go for it?)
I couldn't sleep last night so I was thinking about tons of dumb shit I've done, and a lot of it has been in the past couple of years. What I did recently was really stupid. Instead of trying to be with them as much as possible, I decided to be selfish and not hang out because I knew how much it would probably hurt. Sounds stupid? It is. Fuck it guys and gals. Life is full of ups and downs, (duh), but the key is to GO for it. If it doesn't work out, so what. You'll be sad angry hurt, but those are emotions that you need to feel to be a better person. Watch Good Will Hunting. Robin Williams will tell you everything you need to know, and Matt Damon helps you along as well.
I can't help but feel like I fucked up. I also can't help but feel like I am a fuck up. So thats double against me when I wake up in the morning. I mean, you can look at my advice and say "he doesn't like her because he would have followed his own damn advice". It makes sense, but in my messed up mind I felt like the best thing was to stay away. Don't do that, not unless they tell you to go away. Keep in mind that they have their own personality, ideas, wants, needs, and feelings too. They may not like you back, so if they call the cops on you, you should probably back away. : P
I like to dwell on things. Jessica used to tell me that. I think I do that because I never get clarity in my head. So many different scenarios and situations go through my head, what people are thinking, what they did or might do, and I get all paranoid that maybe, in certain parts of my life, that they don't like me anymore, they don't want to hang out, they don't want to see me, they secretly hate me, or if they like me and I don't know and am not doing anything about it, or if I hurt them? I feel like I do that a lot. I don't try to make people feel bad, and I don't know if I truly do, but it's a feeling that hits my stomach and I get all nervous and want to shut myself off to people because if I can make one person hurt, I can probably make everyone hurt.
I want to change. No more this AJ. But it's hard. This AJ, the procrastinating naive mentally slipping guy, keeps assuming an identity in my head, and the AJ that wants to be just can't seem to win. Current Mood: sad
|Friday, January 19th, 2007|
may not have anything put together, but there used to be pieces of my life stuck together. Now they are coming undone. I guess I didn't use enough adhesive, or a good enough adhesive for that matter. Someone told me I was emotionally unstable once. It's true, to a point. I'm unstable when people around me feel it's their duty to call me things such as, "emotionally unstable". When I get attacked, I get defensive, and I get attacked a lot. I can't quite figure out why. Do I bring it on myself? I ask these questions because...I don't fucking know the answers.
I think a set of events has gone into motion that can't be stopped. My life is definitely going into a downward spiral. It's not like a straightaway slide that I can just focus on getting to the end and maybe put my feet on the ground and catch my breath, no, this is one of those ones where you don't know where you are going, and by the time you get to the bottom your head is in a whirlwind and you feel like you want to throw up and die and possibly keel over and lay down until you fall asleep, and when you wake up you hurt even more because there are other people sliding down after you, and they keep landing on you because you haven't moved, and no one has bothered to move you.
I don't ask for fucking much. I ask that I am accepted as a person even though I'm a fuck up and haven't quite figured out what I want to do with my life. I ask, from my family, which isn't doing a nice job right now, that I have shelter and food. Shelter? I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on in my own room, but it isn't quite the same thing as "shelter". In here, I am definitely subject to anger and dejection. For example, my grandfather thinks I'm a crackhead, my mom thinks its possible for me to become one, and they both think I am a huge waste of this house's space. They have no faith in me, which hurts me so much. It's so hard to feel this and know this. My grandfather is losing his ONLY grandson, me, because he is mad at me for wasting his water and his heat and electricity. That's all he cares about. If I didn't waste it, his views would change. That's bullshit. He doesn't love me, he is obliged to care about me, and that is upsetting. My mother is starting to become the same way. It's not unconditonal family love I feel, it's based on rules that need to be followed, and I don't like that. I'm fucking lost. I'm pretty sure I fucked up totally and lost a good friend of mine, (which is definitely my fault), my family is turning on me, and I keep trying to figure out what I want to do, and I just can't quite grab on to anything.
Maybe I am a failure. Emotionally unstable failure.
Amidst all this, I still think I'm a pretty decent guy. I haven't treated ANYONE like this, I don't treat anyone like this, and I am a very open minded caring guy. So just because I am having trouble doesn't mean I'm not a person.
I don't know. Current Mood: cold
|Tuesday, January 9th, 2007|
|center mass in the middle of the monster
That monster? Me. I can't seem to strike myself down at the right time, overcome myself. I look in the mirror and all I really is someone that can't do anything right.
Not too long ago I was told that if you think negative thoughts, negative things will happen to you. That's bullshit. Negative things happen everyday, and if you haven't noticed I never asked for any of them. Did I ask for the tsunami that rocked India? Did I ask for Katrina? Did I ask for Bush to be in office?
No. I didn't.
Fact of the matter is, the reason I'm so depressed is because no one really understands what I want or am thinking. Jessica thinks she does, but she is seriously retarded in this situation. Telling me to just go do shit, asking me whats wrong, and then telling me how stupid I am when I tell her how I feel.
Oh, and people think I want pity. Pity is for pussies. I don't even know what the word means.
Girls are fucking whacked in the head.
Because I'm a nice guy, I went out to Tully to pick her ass up so she could go to a photoshoot, "ditching" my friends in the process. I have a feeling they aren't going to call. Now that's pretty messed up, considering that makes me not a nice guy.
However, that's not that bad part. The bad part is, I put myself in the situation to be let down. I pick up Jessica, and what happens? I'm sitting here with headphones in my ears blasting Slipknot so I won't have to deal with thinking about her and the crap she gives me. Yeah, she tells it straight up, and most of it is true, but when she asks the same fucking question every fucking time she sees me...it gets annoying to hear her answer to my answer. Something along the lines of, but not limited to, "thats pretty pathetic".
I want to break things. I've said that before. It's becoming all the more strenuous not to have the urge to hate. My feelings for anti-love grow stronger everyday. I'm not given a chance, I'm really not. I get set up to get pushed down. I don't know why I can't foresee what is to come.
Ever since Jessica I have had nothing but bad luck. Why? First off, she breaks up with me for god knows what the fuck reason, but has the gall to tell me that I need to sleep with other people. Just fucking around with me, not telling me why? But now she tells me why. She thinks I'm pathetic and because I don't know what I'm not going with my life, she says it isn't sexy, and that she can't be around me. Fine. Her life.
Leah. I'm too nice for her to see anymore. Why? I don't know, she is uncomfortable with me wanting everyone else to be comfortable. Tells me to be myself. I am myself. This is me, the stupid shy timid fuck that people walk on.
Nicole. Not so much a relationship as a friendship. I can't help but like her, but I torture myself by hoping that maybe, just fucking maybe, something will happen. Now you know how they say, if you want something, go after it? What if what you want doesn't want you? I can't bring myself to do something that might cause embarassment on their side of the fence. I could never "make a move" on her or try to kiss her because, what if...she got so upset she wouldnt speak to me anymore? That would upset me. Very much.
Keep in mind, its not just her I can't kiss, and it's not just kissing. Hugging, touching, talking...doesn't quite work for me. I can't go up to someone and say hi, because it's not fucking me.
Bottom line, I'm a huge disappointment for everyone.
Bottom line, fuck you. You can take your disappointment and kill yourself with it, because I am getting closer and closer everyday to being like my black hearted grandfather, and saying FUCK OFF to everyone that treats me like dirt.
I'm becoming bitter. It's scary.
And don't pretend like you care. You can fuck off too. Current Mood: pissed off
|Sunday, December 24th, 2006|
I really feel like throwing something right now...or breaking something, or screaming, I don't really care. I don't even know what it is really. I have this extremely empty feeling inside, and it feels like its running it's course through my veins into all parts of my body. It makes it all the more worse, now that I think about it, that I have no idea what's bugging me. Or I just can't say. I keep feeling selfish, it's my fault I'm feeling this way. It could be, or it's just the fact that I can't seem to get shit right, or maybe because I can't seem to find that thing that makes me happy. Happy. I mean, throughout the days, I have my happy moments. Certain friends will make me smile, make me laugh, give me an upbeat attitude...but I'm not happy. I'm not actually happy.
I almost feel like something is just hanging down on my shoulders...a burden just clinging to me. Oddly enough, that burden is me, and I have to carry myself around, feeling like I bring the burden wherever I go, because it's me. Oh and by the way, fuck you if you think I'm unconfident or stupid for thinking that, but it isn't you. You can't just tell me to think a different way. I can't tell you to be fucking sad. I can't tell you to pretend to be emo, or always ditzy and bubbly, or just plain retarded. You can't tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about if its me, even if I don't know what I'm talking about. Like right now for example.
I do that a lot by the way.
My heart is beating pretty hard...I'm kind of getting upset. I have this fear that no one likes me, even though I usually don't do anything to deserve it. That and it shouldn't matter what some people think of me, just the people I find important. But...maybe I want someone to think I'm important, and to share that experience. Some of my friends are fantastic, but my friends can't give me everything I feel I deserve. Not because anyone is at fault, but because some of my friends are just friends, and sometimes certain things I can't talk about/do things with.
All these damn people think its easy. So many things are easy. Have fun with that.
Enjoy your day everyone. Current Mood: worried
|Sunday, December 17th, 2006|
|I'm an amateur in a professional world..
So last night was pretty messed up. Matt and I arrived at Marty's last night with intent to drink and play video games until we can't drink and play video games any longer. (Which was until about 2 o clock because Matt forgot his car was on the road, and where he is they WILL give him a ticket).
But at the house, we had a dilemma. There were 5 of us that wanted to play, but we didn't have a game that we were able to play with each other. So what did we do? The next best thing. We opened one.
That's right, we opened one. Marty sneaks this idea out there. "Al (his cousin), is getting FIFA 07 for Christmas from my mom. Let's open it." Consensus? Yes. We opened it. Not one of us thought it a bad idea to open up their cousins' Christmas gift in this particular night to play it. That, however, wasn't quite the worst part about it. We took little camera phone videos. Two to be exact, and both equally as mean as the other. Video one starts off with the view of the little nametag that says who the gift is for, which show's very well the name on the package. To: Alex From: The Fam!
Sooo...it zooms out pretty slowly, and then you hear some great words...open it, and a pari of hands comes out and starts ripping it open, and the final shot is the front view of the game.
The next video is a video of the culprits involved. We are all holding controllers as the camera slowly rotates around the room, and we hold up our controllers to the camera, and at the end, it focuses in on the tv, and we start playing.
Then we sent the video's to Big Al.
Personally, I can't wait to see what happens. Rumor has it we are going to be in BIG trouble.
Florida's cancelled forever.
I wanted to update and say that things have been really weird for me and I am having trouble figuring out what is going on. My brain and body are going in a fuckin tailspin right now. Although I lost my tail some time ago...in the war. I'd rather not reminisce.
But seriously. For example, at work I feel I have been more upbeat and stuff, even though, yes, I still dislike my manager. I don't know why though. This is what bothers me. Why? Seriously, I don't like playing "the game". I'm not a huge fan of any games unless they are sports or on video's. : P What I mean is, I don't like having to play my way through Wegman's just because that's the way to have things run smoothly. I'm not like that. If you tell me to do something and I think its retarded, I'm probably going to roll my eyes, become a little quiet, and then not say much. (Only because that I know if I open my mouth, I get in trouble, it happens more often than not. Who knew?)
Ooo, so I'm having a conversation with Resa, and I came up with a breakthrough.
Breakdown: Confident Jerk: the boys females usually go for; keyword confident, not jerk
SO! The fact that they are jerks means that they are insecure. No reason to be in a relationship where you have to be an ass about it do you? I mean a real ass, not a playful ass. So is it possible to be confident about your insecurities? I don't think so. Because if you can, most of these people aren't. SO! Mathematically I deduce that I'm not the unconfident one, because I know for a fact that I'm nice, and I know for a fact that while yes, maybe I'm not that great at talking to pretty girls and getting them to know that I'm not all that bad, I am still someone who deserves a chance.
Unfortunately, getting that chance, probably the hardest thing ever.
I think I skipped like six sentences in between the beginning paragraph and the end, but I'm not going back in. You can figure out the exact math yourselves. Lazy asses.
Sheesh. Current Mood: sleepy
|Sunday, November 19th, 2006|
|Who's on first? Yes
You see the thing with crushes is that I usually have more than one at a time. Why you ask? Probably because I never think anyone likes me. But the thing is, the people I have crushes on are usually my friends. Not all of them granted, and it isn't like I am crushing on thirty people at one time, but I sometimes feel bad because, since they are friends, it wouldn't be fair to them for me to go "I like you" even though they might not know and it isn't fair to me to not be able to tell them. However, I would definitely rather be friends with them if me telling them I like them will ruin things.
What about the people who aren't exactly my friends? Explanation. What if said person wasn't someone that I talk to on a daily basis, or even converse well with? But I've known her for close to 8 years. (We went to school in the same grade if you haven't figured it out).
Well we saw the latter of the two downtown, and Marty decided to make fun of me over and over. and over. And me? Guess what! Nothing. I barely spoke to her...mostly because her friends were there and they think I'm a tool or a creep or whatnots. I'm not a creep. I'm a dork. Huge difference. I wish I wasn't so sad in the ways of courting women, but I am. I never got that skill/gene/whatever it is to have the balls to walk up and talk to someone. Oh that and I can't dance, and we were in a club. Now people still tell me I can...and it's like no seriously, I can't. I have no rythm, no "moves", I can't "shake my hips", or even bend my friggin knees. Dancing escaped me long ago.
Those are just two examples of my crushes, and the latter example has it's own little example of a person who is in that little "crush group" if you will.
If you don't think you are in any of these groups, and would like to be, you know how to get a hold of me. For those of you who are afraid, don't be. For those of you who have no clue, join the club.
"Whenever I get excited I'm like JOJO the indian circus boy with a pretty new pet!" Current Mood: melancholy
|Tuesday, November 14th, 2006|
What would you do?
It's been kind of weird lately. I've felt tired and depressed as of late. My heart isn't in it I guess.
There's nothing my heart is swimming in as of late, unfortunately. I need to find something. I need happiness.
I think I deserve it.
I'm not too bad of a person. I know worse. I know loads better..but I know worse.
I did read something though."Too much self observation is like a flashlight pointed into a mirror it lights nothing, blinding all focus but if you turn the light toward the dark room behind it you begin to see."
I ended up liking the little writing the doctor wrote. It makes sense.
I'm thirsty. I think water is in order. Current Mood: thirsty
|Sunday, October 22nd, 2006|
I was about to write a little rant about someone...not going to anymore. I can't help wanting to, but everytime I start to write I get more and more frustrated because I can't emphasize enough how retarded he can be. So no more games.
It's not my fault he missed the arm and hammer laundry detergent fight. Current Mood: pensive
|Saturday, October 21st, 2006|
|Monday, October 16th, 2006|
|Saturday, October 14th, 2006|
|Friday, October 13th, 2006|
I've been in a major anime watching kick lately. I've been wanting to get the full story of Full Metal Alchemist, I've been watching Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex recently, and shows that are only available on Saturday nights, called Trinity Blood, Bleach, and Eureka 7. I haven't watched enough to get the story, and I can't afford to buy the dvd's. I tried downloading episodes, but sometimes I can't get them all ya know? Gah!
I can't help it, but I usually like the storylines involved with these shows.
Probably because I want to write a story for a video game that gets published. That would just rock man. You seriously have no idea. I wish I knew what it took. I have no idea where to even go to maybe even try to find out.
I hope the Detroit Tigers go to the World Series.
I'm still kinda lonely.
I have a few video games I need to beat. I just beat Oblivion...holy shit. The ending was just fucking crazy. And the cool thing is, you can still play. Even after.
I'm going to work in a little while so I have to shower. Who wants lyrics of the (every other) day back? Yeah? Come on! All I need is a vote. Or two. Maybe. I might just do it anyway, out of spite, and to annoy the world.
"My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate...babiiiiiiiiies!" Current Mood: bored
|Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006|
|Because someone else did it
My life as a movie soundtrack
Open music player of choice.
put songs on random.
each song is the answer to each question.
random, i kid you not.
Opening Credits: Slipknot - The Heretic Anthem
Waking Up: Alexisonfire - Control
First Day At School: Lamb of God - Remorse is for the Dead
Falling In Love: Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love
Fight Song: Taproot - Art
Breaking Up: Sparta - End Moraine
Prom: Sparta - Assemble the Empire
Life's OK: Ruff Ryders - Kiss of Death
Mental Breakdown: Nine Inch Nails - Suck
Driving: Pearl Jam - Footsteps
Flashback: Lacuna Coil - Heaven's a Lie
The College Years: H.I.M. - (Don't Fear) the Reaper
Getting Back Together: Halo 2 OST - Never Surrender
Wedding: Evanescense - Forgive Me
First house: Pearl Jam - Go
Birth of Child: Final Fantasy IX OST - Vivi's Theme
Mid-Life Crisis: Ruff Ryders - What You Want
Death Scene: Linkin Park - Easier to Run
Funeral Song: Queens of the Stone Age - A Song for the Dead
End Credits: Slipknot - The Blister Exists
sdfhals hgoi;eawrhg oai;erhoa[
|Monday, August 21st, 2006|
So I have a back strain. Nothing major is wrong, and that actually relieves me. I get to go back to work..yay...but at least I'll get a little income flowing. I can't wait to see how long I can last lifting up these boxes. My manager actually asked me if I "...could just lift mice and keyboards and stuff". I said no. Why? Because there is no way I could get away with just lifting those things. And I barely lift anything under 30 pounds. My limit is 15. Trust me, any more than that and I can feel it in my back.
Sigh. I'm a wreck. Current Mood: calm
|Wednesday, August 16th, 2006|
|Yes! No Chance!!
Some of us know what that means. I know what it means. If the past day hasn't been a farce, a hoax, or someone playing a mean trick, then I'm speechless. There is NO WAY that what happened was actually real.
Someone slap me. Current Mood: awake